I was invited to participate in a panel discussion for a Baptists for Life youth event. Each year, they have a high school lock-in for some of the baptist churches in the area. In the early part of the evening, I was on this panel; then for 5 hours I played games at Magic Mountain!

Here is Panel Question #2:

You are in a relationship with a very nice young woman that you met in your youth group. The two of you have been dating for about 1 year and you really like each other, you have even talked about getting married someday. One evening while your parents are out with friends the two of you are home alone. After several minutes of “making out” your girlfriend says that she thinks that the two of you are ready to “take the next step in your relationship and sleep together”. You do believe that this is the person that God will have you marry so it would be okay right? What should you do?

This WOULD have been my answer (but we ran out of time):

Can I have a show of hands… How many of you have heard of Song of Songs or Song of Solomon? How many have read some or all of it? What’s the book about?

Love, marriage, sex…

I remember reading this book when I was about your age and thought, “Whoa, who put this in the Bible!?” In Chapter 4, I would read the passages that talk about all the female body parts and wonder, “Your eyes are like doves?” “Your hair is like a flock of goats?” “Your teeth are like a flock of sheep?” “Your neck is like a tower?” How many of you have complemented your girlfriend by saying, “Sweety, your hair is so nice; it’s like a flock of goats.” Not so much.

Then I’d read passages like, “Your lips drop sweetness like a honeycomb” and I’d be like, “Yeah, now we’re getting to the good stuff!”

But, this book isn’t just about the physical features we admire in the opposite sex. The underlying themes in this book are courtship, marriage, and the intimacy found within the marriage relationship.

Throughout their courtship in chapters 1 through 3, they modeled a healthy relationship that was filled with love, excitement, and anticipation for the future. Then in chapter 4 after their wedding, the newly married couple begins to consummate their union. The husband says to his bride, “You are my private garden, my treasure, my bride, a secluded spring, a hidden fountain.”

What do you think the man meant when he said: Private garden, secluded spring, and hidden fountain? There were some parts of their relationship that were still a mystery and had yet to be explored and enjoyed. I want you to remember that your girlfriend is treasure from God. Certain parts of that treasure are to remain unexplored until you are joined together in marriage.