Lyrics to Weird Al’s Amish Paradise:
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she’s very plain
But that’s just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the mornin’ I’m milkin’ cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I’ve been milkin’ and plowin’ so long
That even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I’m a man of the land, I’m into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight were gonna party like it’s 1699

We been spendin’ most our lives
Livin’ in an Amish paradise
I churned butter once or twice
Livin’ in an Amish paradise
It’s hard work and sacrifice
Livin’ in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Livin’ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don’t care, in fact I wish him well
Cause I’ll be laughin’ my head off when he’s burnin’ in Hell
But I never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a ‘tude? You know that’s unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
If you come to visit you’ll be bored to tears
We haven’t even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain’t really quaint so please don’t point and stare
We’re just technologically impaired

There’s no phones, no lights, no motor cars
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Caruso, it’s as primitive as can be

We been spendin’ most our lives
Livin’ in an Amish paradise
Were just plain and simple guys
Livin’ in an Amish paradise
There’s no time for sin and vice
Livin’ in an Amish paradise
We don’t fight we all play nice
Livin’ in an Amish paradise

Hichin’ up the buggy, churnin’ lots of butter
Raise a barn on Monday, soon I’ll raise anutter
Think you’re really righteous; think you’re pure at heart?
Well I know, I’m a million times as humble as thou art
I’m the pious guy, the little am-lettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night, scorin’ points for the after life
So don’t be vain, and don’t be whiney
Or else my brother, I might have to get medieval on your
heinie

We been spendin’ most our lives
Livin’ in an Amish paradise
We’re all crazy Mennonites
Livin’ in an Amish paradise
There’s no cops or traffic lights
Livin’ in an Amish paradise
But you’d probably think it bites
Livin’ in an Amish paradise

Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!

[tags]Weird Al, Amish Paradise, music video, lyrics, movie, youtube, humor, funny[/tags]

Post a comment and let me know….
– Are you white and nerdy?
– Am I white and nerdy?

Sorry, apparently the embeded video above has been disabled by YouTube. Enjoy the parody below!

Lyrics to Weird Al’s White and Nerdy
They see me mowin’ my front lawn
I know they’re all thinkin’ I’m so
White and nerdy

Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Can’t you see I’m white and nerdy
Look at me I’m white and nerdy

I wanna roll with the gangstas
But so far they all think I’m too
White and nerdy

Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
I’m just too white and nerdy
Really, really white and nerdy

First in my class here at MIT
Got skills, I’m a champion at D&D
M.C. Escher, that’s my favorite M.C.
Keep your 40, I’ll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin, to the contrary
You’ll find that they’re quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Stephen Hawking’s in my library

My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
Got people beggin’ for my top eight spaces
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places
Ain’t got no grills but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I’m a wiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days
Once you’ve see my sweet moves, you’re gonna stay amazed
My fingers movin’ so fast I’ll set the place ablaze

There’s no killer app I haven’t run (run)
At Pascal, well I’m number one (one)
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain’t got a gat, but I got a soldering gun (what?)
Happy Days is my favorite theme song
I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I’ll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I’m fluent within JavaScript as well as Klingon

Here’s the part I sing on…

You see me roll on my Segway
I know in my heart they think I’m
White and nerdy

Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Can’t you see I’m white and nerdy
Look at me I’m white and nerdy

I’d like to roll with the gangstas
Although it’s apparent I’m too
White and nerdy

Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
I’m just too white and nerdy
How’d I get so white and nerdy

I been browsin’, inspectin’ X-Men comics
You know I collect ‘em
The pens in my pocket, I must protect them
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shoppin’ online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you R-O-T-F-L-O-L

I got a business doing websites (websites)
When my friends need some code, who do they call?
I do HTML for ‘em all
Even made a homepage for my dog, yo
I got myself a fanny pack
They were havin’ a sale down at The Gap
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
Pop, pop – hope no one sees me, gettin’ freaky

I’m nerdy in the extreme and
Whiter than sour cream
I was in AV club and glee club
And even the chess team
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was “Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?”
Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Fair
Got my name on my underwear

They see me strollin’, they laughin’
And rollin’ their eyes cause I’m so
White and nerdy

Just because I’m white and nerdy
Just because I’m white and nerdy
All because I’m white and nerdy
Holy cow, I’m white and nerdy

I wanna bowl with the gangstas
But oh well, it’s obvious I’m
White and nerdy

Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
I’m just too white and nerdy
Look at me I’m white and nerdy

[tags]Weird Al, White and Nerdy, music video, lyrics, movie, youtube, humor, funny[/tags]

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.

’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed!

Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me,
His Word my hope secures;
He will my Shield and Portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, Who called me here below,
Will be forever mine.

When we’ve been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Than when we’d first begun.

Words: John Newton, Olney Hymns (London: W. Oliver, 1779).